To Whom It May Concern: Joining the circus is not all cotton candy and clown cars. Please abide by the following rules. Thank you. – Management
- The Cannon is for the Human Cannonball not for garbage or undocumented workers.
- No matter how the old saying goes, cleaning up after the Elephant is not the same as being in Show Biz. Therefore, do not expect your own trailer or a cologne stipend.
- Do not hit on the bearded lady if you have Daddy issues. This goes for men and women.
- If you need to change a tire call AAA, not the Strongman.
- Be available for random drug testing. We can not afford another incident like the Fire-Eating Woman and the Meth Lab.
- Never say “go fuck yourself” when there are children and/or a contortionist in the room.
- If you lick whipped cream off the tattoo lady it is impolite to read while you eat.
- Don’t eat a double-double breakfast burrito, if you’re going to be the first one in Clown Car.
- Buzz Saw Jugglers make sure you don’t practice near the Man on Stilts.
- If the Lion Tamer’s nickname is Lefty or Stubby, good chance it’s obvious how he got the nickname. If he wants to discuss, he’ll bring it up on his own.