barrera del idioma

By Angelica M. Ramos-Santa           

barrera del idioma
I press the nervous muscle to the back
of my teeth gently to make the soft romantic sounds                        
of my grandmother’s mother tongue.
the syllables, flips and trills feel foreign                               
as they resound in the hollow of my mouth.
I am a child no se
which does not mean I cannot understand                                        
simply that I do not speak for
fear mixes with saliva and thickens my tongue                     
who stutters and sputters out the words
that sound so perfect in my mind but frequently manifest broken.
I whisper español to myself in night’s warm shroud                                     
trying–desperately–to utter my own name
without an American accent.

Please

Por favor

                                                                                    Talk slower

                                                                                                I am still

Learning

                                                                                                            How      not     to

                                                            Choke                                                              on

                                                                                    My own

                                                                                                                                    Tongue

                                                            For it                                       does not

                                                                                    Feel                                         as though

                                                                                    It                                              belongs to me.

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Angelica M. Ramos-Santa is a professor and advisor who genuinely loves helping students make a plan. When she's not teaching or mentoring, she writes across genres, following format that flows with her thoughts. Her work is driven by curiosity, deep observation and a passion for storytelling and clever linguistics as a love-language. When she's not writing, her nose is buried in a book or cuddled up with her four furry children.